Have you ever realized that you mentally talk to yourself all day long? Unfortunately, many people talk to themselves in a negative way. I know I am guilty of it at times. Actions are inspired by thoughts. If we think in a negative manner – chances are negative things will come our way. If we think in a positive manner – chances are positive things will come our way. Practicing positive self-talk can help bring us greater rewards because YOU are creating them.
It sounds simple, but I know this can be a journey.
I started analyzing how I talked to myself while training for a 52-mile ultramarathon. I had participated in a number of marathons before the ultra and done pretty well, but I often felt so down on myself while running. I genuinely love running, so I was confused why I was feeling this way. Through focused awareness, I finally realized that I was running out of anger and talking to myself in a negative way.
Admittedly, this anger gave me a tremendous amount of drive. Once I became aware of my internal discussions, I wanted to change them but grew scared that I would lose my competitive edge.
I set a personal goal to talk to myself in a positive way throughout my ultramarathon, but in order to accomplish this goal; I needed a lot of practice.
In the end, I successfully completed my challenge and I now run from a place of peace as opposed to anger. Following this revelation, my running style did slightly change. I did not run as aggressively and I did not run quite as fast, but this change was worth it to me. I was enjoying what I loved to do again and I started to create a foundation for how I talked to myself in my everyday life. I felt empowered and joyful.
How to create a loving dialogue for yourself:
- The first step is awareness.
- You can make your life as positive as you want. Create a loving mantra for yourself.
- If you slip into negative mode – let it go and begin again.
- Fill your mind with positive thoughts, memories and pictures. Be grateful.
- Confront your fears. What is holding you back from loving yourself?
- Practice, practice, practice until you never stop practicing.
Reading (this story was shared with me by my friend, Kristal):
A group of Cherokee children has gathered around their grandfather filled with excitement and curiosity. One little boy shared that he had been dreaming of a white wolf and black wolf fighting. They were so intermixed that he couldn’t tell the two apart. He wanted the white wolf to win, but didn’t know how to make that happen.
“Well,” the man replies, “we all have two wolves inside us, you see. They are in our chest. And these wolves are constantly fighting each other.” The eyes of the children have grown big by now. “In our chests too, grandfather?” asks another child. “And in your chest too?” asks a third one. He nods, “yes, in my chest too.” He surely has their attention now. Grandfather continues. “There is a white wolf and a black wolf. The black wolf is filled with fear, anger, envy, jealousy, greed, and arrogance. The white wolf is filled with peace, love, hope, courage, humility, compassion, and faith. They battle constantly.” Then he stops. It’s the child that asked the initial question that can’t handle the tension anymore. “But grandfather, which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replies, “the one that we feed.”
- “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt
- “Hey World” by Michael Franti & Spearhead
- “The Story of Your Life” by Matthew West
- “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson
- “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars
- “Save Me” by Nicki Minaj
- “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers
- “And Run” by He is We
- “In Your Light” by Gotye
- “Come On Kid” by Josiah Leming
- “Mirrors” by Wale feat. Bun B
- Mash Up: “Garbage & Mercy“ by Doobie Brothers & Duffy
- “Save it for a Rainy Day” by The Jayhawks
- “Sweet Disposition” by The Temper Trap
- “Destiny” by Lenny Kravitz
- “Who You Are by Jessie J